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Ask the Patriarch 39
What Would Jesus do?

by Charles Murphy TwoBears

To give your own views on this question and reply for publication, please use the contact page to provide your comments.

(A reply to yet another rejected application for ordination. Why do these people bother?)

First Name: Charles
Middle Name or Initial (optional): Murphy
Surname (Last Name):: TwoBears

Your email address: wwjdmichael2xxx@xxx.com

I understand and accept the Articles of Faith of The Universal Church Triumphant of the Apathetic Agnostic: :Yes
I am applying for: Ordination
I am prepared to take on the responsibility of introducing others to the Church and its teachings:Yes

What do you wish to be ordained as?:Minister

Please select a degree:Master of Basic Agnosticism

City or Town (or equivalent): mattoon

Province / State and Country: Ill

How would you like your documentation sent to you?:through the Apathetic Agnostic Marketplace store ($20.00 plus shipping and handling - you will be advised when documentation is available for purchase.)

I certify on my honor that all my declarations, including this one, in this application are true. I recognize that a false declaration invalidates any ordination which may be issued.:Yes

Comments / Feedback: I thank you and ask that you send my certificate by mail to xxx s.xx street Mattoon.illinois 6xxx God Bless you

The Patriarch replies:

Mr. TwoBears:

Thank you for your application for ordination.

Given that your email address includes "wwjd" and given your closing salutation of "God Bless you," we find ourselves unable to proceed with your request for ordination..

I suggest that if you had asked yourself "WWJD" before you applied, you probably would have come to the conclusion that the Jesus you believe in would not have applied to be an Agnostic clergyman. I wonder why you did?