Ask the Patriarch 25
Atheist and Agnostic Singles
From: Thom Robinson
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Note: Check the follow-up section at the bottom for the latest resources identified. (Updated October 2004)
I found you while searching for Atheist Singles. I think it's great that you declare what I have always felt and it's nice to know "I'm not alone." In any case, I hope to visit often.
As a Yankee Atheist in Florida, I have NO social life. Living on the buckle of the bible belt has made it quite impossible. The few "friends" I've made have been lost to the religion of their relatives, usually pious wives. I've attempted to put single ads online, but in Jacksonville, the women cling to religion as if their souls depended on it.
Being soul less, I can't bring myself to participate in these self deprecating and self-deceiving behaviors. Which brings me to why I'm here and although there is little hope left, it's not completely gone. I figure the women atheists are probably having just as tough a time as I am. Now to get us together.
Got any suggestions? Thanks.
The Patriarch replies:
Thom:
On my personal web site, I used to rate various singles services - something I dropped because I couldn't find time to update often enough so the ratings would be current. I did list a fair number of religious oriented singles services - but none for agnostics and atheists. Maybe we just don't believe in it.
I have at various times considered starting an Agnostic & Atheist service on the Apathetic Agnostic web site - but I have not fancied taking on yet more work - nor the problem of how to get started. One listing is really insufficient. A certain critical mass is required to generate more listings - probably at least 10. So, unless I hear from a number of others in the same boat, I'm unlikely to take it on.
Perhaps if you join a local Freethought / Humanist organization, you might find other singles. For example the First Coast Free Thought Society is in your area, I believe. And on the state level there is The Humanists of Florida Association.
If you want to focus on strictly singles operations, there is an Atheist & Agnostic Singles Service where you can post an advertisement for yourself. Though I think it is in a holding pattern until it reaches a critical mass. Also, there is an Humanist, Agnostic & Atheist Singles group on Yahoo through which you may be able to contact others in your area.
Follow-up - latest update October 2004
- I have found a singles service for Freethinkers, Atheists, and Agnostics. It seems to have a reasonable number of members, in the US at least. It is free to post an advertisement. If you want to contact others, it currently costs $12 for a month. (Non-recurring billing, which is unusual and customer friendly) The Free Thinker's Match Maker
- Another option I can suggest which is currently free is Friendster. The concept seems to be based on six degrees of separation (though it only goes to three.) Go there and sign-up. Link to me as a friend, (My name is John Tyrrell) so that we start establishing a network of "friends," invite a few of your agnostic friends to join, and eventually we will have a critical mass of agnostics and be able to find potential new friends and romance prospects. The success of this depends on people signing up. (If you cannot find me to make the link, use the contact form to request a current e-mail address which you can use to make the link.)
As of the end of February 2005, we are linked to over a 24,000 people worldwide through Friendster which suggests we have achieved well over the critical mass which will enable people to meet others - particularly in the 18-30 age bracket. Old fogies, such as me, still have limited prospects. But do sign up - its still free, and the odds of meeting someone are improving strongly.
- Similar to Friendster, but more effective in building a community in my opinion, is Orkut. You require an invitation from a member to join. It seems very good for building finding people of like interests for romance, friendship, discussion or business networking. Apathetic Agnostics who wish to join can contact me via the contact form for an invitation.
In terms of number of connections, Orkut appears about 100 times as effective as Friendster in creating a network from which to select potential contacts because it reaches deeper into the number of connections. And it is free. But its growth has made response times slooooow.
- A recently identified option is Meetup.com's Agnostic Group. This provides an opportunity for agnostics to meet for coffee at a regular monthly meeting. There are groups being started in cities worldwide. It seems worth an effort. And if there is no group in your city, you can start / coordinate one.