A Miscellany 82
I would like to be an acolyte
by Ron Joseph
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I am deeply interested in your church (praise). But I would just like to be an acolyte, or even some kind of altar boy, or even just a candle lighter(do you have and/or use) candles? I like candles cause they make any type of churchy stuff more funky. And if anything is being spouted from a pulpit you can watch the wax melt and make kewl patterns as it runs down the candles.
I already have degrees so wall space is kinda limited, but just plain 'membership' kinda, well, sucks (a slight complaint). Anyway, I hope your church can make room for me as I would enjoy sleeping and or sleazing my way to the top. From experience I have found this to be much more fun.