Meditation 723
It Happens
To open a discussion on this article, please use the contact page to provide your comments.
In thinking about writing the previous Meditation, my initial idea was to go a little further with the idea that we don't have to point at a god or demons as a reason for senseless events. I'd intended to expand on the second last paragraph by building upon the greatest philosophical concept to come out of the'70s: "Shit happens." Sometimes it's good shit, sometimes it's bad shit, but still, "Shit happens."
I decided, and rightly so, that Meditation 722 had enough of a message without going there. But still, some of the research I did should not go to waste[1], so here is a selection of religious, economic and philosophical views on "Shit happens."
- Agnostic 1: Shit might have happened; then again, maybe not.
- Agnostic 2: Did someone shit?
- Agnostic 3: What is this shit?
- Apathetic Agnostic: I don't let that shit bother me.
- Atheism 1: What shit?
- Atheism 2: I can't believe this shit!
- Buddhism: If shit happens, it isn't really shit.
- Calvinism: Shit happens because you don't work.
- Capitalism: That's MY shit.
- Catholicism: If shit happens, you deserve it.
- Chauvinism: We may be shit, but you can't live without us...
- Christian Science 1: When shit happens, don't call a doctor - pray!
- Christian Science 2: Shit happening is all in your mind.
- Church of SubGenius: BoB shits.
- Commercialism: Let's package this shit.
- Communism: It's everybody's shit.
- Confucianism: Confucius say, "Shit happens."
- Congregationalist: Shit that happens to one person is just as good as shit that happens to another
- Creationism: God made all this shit.
- Darwinism: Shit is still evolving
- Episcopalian: It's not so bad if shit happens, as long as you serve the right wine with it
- Existentialism 1: Shit doesn't happen; shit IS.
- Existentialism 2: What is shit, anyway?
- Feminism: Men are shit.
- Fundamentalism 1: If shit happens, you will go to hell, unless you are born again. Amen
- Fundamentalism 2: If shit happens to a televangelist, it's okay.
- Fundamentalism 3: Shit must be born again.
- Hare Krishna: Shit happens, rama rama.
- Hedonism: There is nothing like a good shit happening!
- Hinduism: This shit has happened before.
- Idolism: Let's bronze this shit.
- Impressionism: From a distance, shit looks like a garden.
- Islam 1: If shit happens, it is the will of Allah.
- Islam 2: If shit happens, kill the person responsible.
- Islam 3: If shit happens, blame Israel.
- Jehovah's Witnesses 1: Knock Knock Shit happens.
- Jehovah's Witnesses 2: May we have a moment of your time to show you some of our shit
- Jehovah's Witnesses 3: Shit has been prophesied and is imminent; only the righteous shall survive its happening
- Judaism: Why does this shit always happen to us?
- Lutheran: If shit happens, don't talk about it.
- Methodist: It's not so bad if shit happens, as long as you serve grape juice with it
- Moonies: Only really happy shit happens.
- Mormonism 1: God sent us this shit.
- Mormonism 2: This shit is going to happen again.
- Nihilism: No shit.
- Practical: Deal with shit one day at a time.
- Presbyterian: This shit was bound to happen.
- Protestantism: Let shit happen to someone else.
- Quakers: Let us not fight over this shit.
- Rastafarianism: Let's smoke this shit!
- Satanism: SNEPPAH TIHS.
- Scientology: If shit happens, see "Dianetics", p.157.
- Secular Humanism: Let's share this shit
- Seventh Day Adventism: No shit shall happen on Saturday.
- Stoicism: This shit is good for me.
- Taoism: Shit happens.
- Unitarian 1: Shit that happens to one person is just as bad as shit that happens to another
- Unitarian 2: Come let us reason together about this shit.
- Utopianism: This shit does not stink.
- Wiccan: And it harm none, let shit happen.
- Zen Buddhism 1: Shit is, and is not.
- Zen Buddhism 2: What is the sound of shit happening?
- Zoroastrianism: Shit happens half of the time.
Footnote:
- Not to mention that writing about shit helped me feel clean again after visiting Fred Phelps' various websites for the previous meditation.