A thesis on God and Teddy bears
By Reverend Bob
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If one looks to Man's subjugation of divinity one cannot help but notice the apparent childishness and immaturity of emotion on God's part.
"I am a vengeful God.. " "I am a jealous God.." "I am an angry God.." or more to the point "I am I am" or in other words "Because...".
Why would a monotheistic deity feel jealousy? What could any one do to piss off an absolute being? And, of course, vengeful... God is everything and does everything ,so how could we possibly stab the all seeing all knowing in the back?
Fortunately, to find these answers one need look no further than a temperamental child's teddy bear. How many times have you witnessed a pouting child inform everyone around of her teddy's anger?
"Fuzzy is mad" or "He won't talk to you, only to me!!" "He says you are a bad person!!"
Is it possible that little Missy has a direct line to the almighty? Perhaps when Jesus was crucified and the "Holy of Holies" was torn apart, God pulled a Chucky and put his phone number into small toys and cuddly stuffed animals. That would help to explain the frequent emotional breakdowns of television evangelists and other people of faith. "I hope you die!!" are far more impacting words when coming from an execution drunk reborn ex-alcoholic moron than from Little Missy, but the sentiment is still the same.