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Hell's Half AcreMeditation 171
On Hell's Half Acre, Hell, & Jehovah's Witnesses

by: JT

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I always seem to find something reasonably relevant to write about based on my travels. This meditation and the next are examples. If only I could be bothered to incorporate UCTAA, I could probably make my travel expenses fully tax deductible.

Along Interstate 15, between Idaho Falls and Pocatello there is a lava bed called Hell's Half Acre. The devil must use a different measuring system than us, because the lava flow covers quite a few square miles.

It's not a place that I would recommend going out of your way to visit, but if you are travelling north or south on I15, then it is worth a stop, not least because it contains a rest area with washroom facilities.

Hell's Half AcreThere is also an informative geological trail which I hike along each time I travel on the highway. The trail is less than a mile long[1], but the exercise is welcome after an extended period of sitting in my car. As the lava flow is only a few thousand years old, even fundies can enjoy the trail without having their creationist beliefs challenged.

A couple of weeks ago on my way south to the Grand Canyon, I stopped as usual and followed the trail. After finishing, I went to use the restroom.

A man and two teenage (apparently) girls were sitting in the information area. To external appearances, they were just waiting for "mother" to come out of the women's washroom.

I went on about my business in the Men's. When I exited, the three were still there, and the older of the two girls approached me, and asked me if I wanted something to read.

Hell's Half AcreThis offer might have been more appropriate on my way into the toilet rather than heading back to drive my car on the highway. It does not matter; either way, I was certain to refuse. She held an armful of issues of the Watchtower.

Yes, the Jehovah's Witnesses are now seeking converts in public restrooms.

I really doubt there is a Heaven, and I really doubt there is a Hell. But if Hell does exist, then perhaps being sent to Hell means coming back into this world as a believing Jehovah's Witness sentenced to eternal rejection of offers of the Watchtower.

And the ninth circle[2] of Hell reserved for the most serious of sinners, well, that is coming back as a Jehovah's Witness required by personal belief to offer the Watchtower in the public washroom of Hell's Half Acre, Idaho.


  1. For anyone interested in a longer hike (4.5 miles) through this lava bed from a different start point, visit Trailhead Info
  2. Or the tenth circle of Hell for aficionados of The Onion.