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Agnostic Testimony 30
The Conclusion of a Life-Long Seeker

by: Robert F vonBriesen

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As I read through the testimonies of how many have come to the conclusion that Agnosticism is the most rational, logical belief system, I see my experience repeated in almost every essay.  It appears that we all begin, at a fairly early age, by questioning the ‘Bible Stories’ we learn in our early religious training. The questions are answered by some form of “You are not supposed to understand. God works his miracles in strange ways. Just accept by Faith that God’s word is irrefutable”.

By the time I reached my early 20’s, I was looking for other answers.  I studied everything from the esoteric paths of Suffism, Kaballah,  Course in Miracles, and the religions of B’ahai, Buddhism, Wicca, Spiritualism, Shamanism and Metaphysics  in an attempt to find something with which I could identify. The one thing they all have in common is that one needs Faith to accept the things that are difficult to understand because they are irrational and illogical.

As I listen to the adherents of the various belief systems explain the basis of their beliefs, it becomes clear that Faith has something to do with self-imposed brainwashing; i.e., they have conditioned themselves to believe in the specific tenets of their religion in order to be accepted by other members of the group.  To challenge their belief system is to threaten their self-identity.

As a result of that understanding, I have stopped trying to convince the Bible-Bangers that they might be wrong, that the Bible is full of inconsistencies and contradictions and that a study of the history of Christianity would reveal its faults to them.  I try to avoid ‘Christian-Bashing’ in discussions of my beliefs even though it is tempting to do so as Christianity is so full of obvious faults.

Now that I have reached the conclusion that I have always been an Agnostic, I am grateful to have found a place where I can vent my feelings and opinions without offending anyone.  I have applied for, and received, the designation of “Minister” in UCTAA as I have decided to come out of the religious closet and to declare my beliefs openly.  I will still be careful not to offend practicing Christians as I do not intend to convert anyone to my belief system. However, I do believe that there are enough Seekers out there, looking for answers that cannot be provided by Christian dogma, that I will eventually build a core group of local Agnostics who are not afraid to discuss their beliefs.

R-von

For a follow-up article, please see Meditation 1136: Joining the Agnostic Community

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