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Agnostic Testimony 27
From Seminary to agnosticism

by: AgnosticJames1982

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I was born and raised in the Roman Catholic tradition, and spent four years of my life in a Catholic Seminary. Ironically, it was at that point and time in my life that the seeds of Agnosticism were planted in my mind.

In my days as a seminarian, I learned much to my amusement that all of the Church festivals were formerly pagan rituals and traditions. All of these festivities were "cleansed" and converted to sacred days which would "glorify" Christ and the Church. So, there goes Christmas, All Saints Day and everything else out of the window. Forget Valentine's day; Hallmark invented that to sell greeting cards.

The Creation, Adam and Eve, the Great Flood and almost everything else were "Allegorical" in nature and the ignorant masses need not be told as such. As future priests, we were told to shove these Truths down people's damn throats based on nothing else but Faith. Could you imagine that? The more we were taught about almost every single line in every single Book of the KJV Bible, the more glaring the inconsistencies and the absurdity of it all came to light. Of course, they had to be careful with Deuteronomy, since wholesale Genocide is not what you would want people to know about. Canticles of Canticles, well --no, it was not biblical porn even if it sounded just like that. Enough said about that. I will not bore you about more of the inconsistencies of the bible or the detailed and in depth theological "armaments" or Canon Law we were taught to blast infidels and skeptics away. I have had more than enough of the discourses of St. Thomas Aquinas and St. Ignatius of Loyola among others to last ten lifetimes.

My conversion to agnosticism was a gradual process, not a sudden cataclysmic event. It was not a sudden, knee jerk reaction. Eventually, Agnosticism was my recourse due to dismay of organized religion, and a rebellious response prompted by disgust at the Roman Catholic Church's unforgiveable hypocrisy. More importantly, the biblical concept of an omnipresent, omniscient and all-forgiving divine being did not sit well with the concept of Hell (there is Purgatory, but that was another invention of the Roman Catholic Church), nor did the concept of wholesale murder and forcible conversion of non-believers (look up Deuteronomy, for just one example) blend in with mercy, forgiveness and "Thou Shall not Kill" and the New Testament. "Kill them all; God will Know his own", so said a certain Roman Catholic Soldier Saint when asked who would be spared when his soldiers were about to ransack a half-pagan and half Christian city. If I had to discuss Jesus and the Divine Trinity and why I cannot come to terms with this doctrine as well as the inconsistencies of the 4 Gospels with regard to Christ's "divinity", then I could kill someone reading this out of sheer boredom.

I did not and will not convert to any other religion. These are all the same, just packaged and branded differently with doctrines conveniently added or removed to suit the personal preferences of it's founders. A cult is a cult regardless of what religious "truth" it espouses, and being part of a mass delusion is not exactly my cup of tea.

I do not force people to deny the existence of God. For me to do so would make me no better than the evangelizing Christians who want everyone to think and believe as they do and those who don't as "damned".

In closing, I believe that there is a divine force which is unlike that commonly marketed by conventional religion, and that such is ultimate mystery. Hence, I am just another apathetic agnostic.