Agnostic Testimony 7
When the Church Has Total Control
Note: Originally published as Meditation 46
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I attended church events 3-4 times a week. I worked for the church full time, took classes at church and taught bible studies. I was in a men’s study group and I even lived in a church ministry house with church friends.
Things took a turn for the worse when I started dating. One thing led to another and we eventually slept together and the gossip spread. I was confronted by my home church leader who only wanted to know one thing, did I actually have sex. Being on the spot and under pressure, I confessed everything. He then threatened to kick me out of the group if I did not repent.
The next day at work, I was fired on the spot from my church job. I had till the end of the workday to get my things and leave. Needless to say, I was crushed. I really loved the job, the people, and the work I did there.
It was clear that I needed to leave the church ministry house too. Others had been kicked out for similar reasons. Knowing that it was coming, I announced my plan to move out before it did.
Eventually, I was excommunicated from the church completely. There was a large meeting held on my behalf with about twenty people in attendance. I was banned from all church related activities and they encouraged my friends not to associate with me anymore. During this whole ordeal, my girlfriend broke up with me too being pressured by the church.
So I lost my job, my home, my church, many of my friends, and my girlfriend. All for having sex. Was it worth it? Hell yes! It was a matter of principle and freedom.
This led to a period of deep reflection and analysis of my beliefs. I saw no evidence of God working in my life or through the church. I re-evaluated most of the reasons why I believed what I did, and came out an agnostic. I was a Christian for about nine years, having converted from atheism from as far back as I can remember. I now consider myself an open-minded free thinker. I will no longer be under the tyranny of the church. Long live freedom!!!